We woke up to a bluebird Wellington morning and hit the road for Otaki gorge. We read about the gorge in a book about Lord of the Rings filming locations that we found at Weta Cave. Even though we made a point not to visit locations just because they appeared in the trilogy, the real world pictures of the gorge looked beautiful and it was on our way to New Plymouth, so we decided to make a detour. We were not disappointed.
On our drive out of the park - on a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere - we were stopped for about half of an hour by road construction. Let me say again for the record: “A dirt road in the middle of nowhere.” At this point my paranoid mind was starting to believe that the New Zealand road workers were actually targeting Anna’s car. Was there a single road in New Zealand that isn’t being repaired? Haven’t I seen that road worker before? What other delays did we have in store? Could I possibly be foreshadowing?
After returning to the paved highway (and further road works) we stopped for lunch at the university town of Palmerston North. We ate subway sandwiches in the city square with a pair of curious ducks, and then attempted our “Escape From Palmerston North”. The Palmerston North road system is like the labyrinthine brain of a crazy person. Following one set of signs to New Plymouth we ended up driving in the wrong direction for nearly fifteen minutes. After fishing out a map we made our way back to the main road where we spotted a sign saying, “New Plymouth – Right turn in 5 kilometers” which was followed by a right hand turn in what couldn’t have been more than a kilometer. “That obviously can’t be the turn we’re looking for.” After driving the aforementioned 5 kilometers, once again finding ourselves lost, pulling a u-turn and then making our way back to the right turn that “obviously wasn’t the one we were looking for”, we hit the highway and made a bee-line for New Plymouth. Freedom!
We arrived in New Plymouth in the early evening and set up our tent at the Belt Road Seaside Holiday Park ($32 NZ a night for two people). We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful evening so we took a stroll along the coastal walkway toward the infamous Wind Wand.
Even though there was a perfectly good paved walkway, Anna wanted to walk along the rocks and do her best Merlin impression.
Majestic.
Strolling along the coastal walkway Anna and I started to notice a disturbing trend among the locals. New Plymouth has to be the camel toe capital of the world! Regardless of age, race, sex or even looseness of clothes, anatomy below the belt was always girded with a disturbing clarity. At one point my gawking got a little out of hand, and a local woman retreated from the sidewalk with an embarrassed expression and her hand hovering over her lower groinal area.
And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Experience the kinetic wonder of the world known simply as:
THE WIND WAND!
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